How to Love: Without Judgement

And it happened that He was reclining at the table in his house, and many tax collectors and sinners were dining with Jesus and His disciples; for there were many of them, and they were following Him. When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, "Why is He eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners?" And hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mark 2:15-17

Do we relate more to Jesus or the Pharisees in this scene? I feel like I am guilty of being more like the Pharisees a lot of the time. Even if it is not outright said or admitted, I think I often condemn people in my heart and place them into the category of 'unsaved' and 'unrighteous' without even realizing sometimes. Usually my dark heart comes out in the form of gossip. As Christians, we tend to steer away from 'sinners' instead of seeking them out in love. But if Jesus is our example, maybe we should be slower to judge and quicker to have compassion.

Jesus loving a Nazi and carrying his buden

"Tragedy is that our attention centers on what people are not, rather than on what they are and who they might become." Brennan Manning

To judge is simply to form an opinion about something. In this sense, we are all judges of each other. It is almost impossible not to form some sort of opinion of someone. We take judging too far when we either look down on others or let our judgements impede our love for them.

Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgement, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself, for you who judge practices the same things. Romans 2:1

Honestly, I should get this verse tattooed. It's very humbling. Not only are we all sinners, but we practice specific types of sin the same as those we judge. Though I judge girls who dress immodestly and say that they are looking for self-worth in guys, I know that in my heart I have done the same. Even if it is not in how I dress, I know I have looked for approval from guys. I want them to like me, to tell me I'm smart and pretty and valued. We are all the same. How can we fall for the lie that says some sins are worse than ours?

Since realizing that sin is sin and we are all diseased with it, it has really begun to bother me that I and other Christians like me seek to change people from the outside. What I mean is that we aim to change peoples' lifestyles instead of their hearts. Instead of blessing people with love and acceptance, I aim to show them that their sin is sin. In reality, that's not my job. We are here to eat with sinners. We are here to love them unconditionally. We are here to point them to Christ by showing them the passionate and deep love inside us that is only from Him. We are not supposed to condemn them for their sin because we are just as guilty as they are. So maybe instead of asking God to show others their sins, maybe we should just ask Him to show us ours.

"By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Sometimes I can get people to change outwardly. I can pressure them and nag them and tell them they are horrible persons. But when I change them outwardly first, it is like putting a dress on a skunk. I'm not really fixing the problem. I'm just making the problem look prettier.